I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
