R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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