Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
