there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
