Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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