Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize