VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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