He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
