I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
