I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
