Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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