If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
