well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
