But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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