too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
