God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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