4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
