Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
