At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
