uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
