If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
