if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
