We won't sleep together?
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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