Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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