Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
