why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
