Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
false alarm, still single
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