Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
