Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
