I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
