ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
