do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize