if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
