I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
