my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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