Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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