Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
