Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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