Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
