I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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