wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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