You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Holy shit dude........stairs
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
