Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
