i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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