Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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