I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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