Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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