Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
