Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize