My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
