this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
