More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
