Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
