So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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