I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
