just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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