Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its not stalking. its research.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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