i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
