I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
