Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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