is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
