O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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