Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
